Health 4
Nyagatare District
Muraho! I’d like to begin with a quick hello, and short introduction. My name is Caitie Gibbons, I’m one of GAD’s three new members elected in October from Health 4. Our training group arrived in Rwanda May 2012; we are the fourth group of health volunteers, and the seventh training group total in country. I’m thrilled to be part of the PC Rwanda GAD committee, and am greatly looking forward to working together in the upcoming year.
Last week I participated in my first camp. It was a BE camp
(Boys Excelling), a PC Rwandan youth development club focused for boys. When I
first heard about BE back in September I was hesitant to jump on board. My
background seriously lacks any boys’ education, or boys’ development work. I’ve
also worked with girls so much in the past that breaching to the other side
gave me a fear-of-the-unknown type feeling.
Mulling the opportunity over, the importance of working with
boys became clear to me. While the answer may be obvious to some, it took me
some time to realize this: boys’ development is as essential as girls. After
all, how can we achieve gender equality in Rwanda (and elsewhere) if we only
educate the girls? Both sides need to understand the importance of empowering
their own gender and each other; both sides need to be equal. Without the boys
understanding what gender equality is, and why it is important, how can we
achieve it?
With my new mindset I jumped on board with Camp BE, ready
and willing to empower and educate. BE camp was an amazing experience for me
for several different reasons, but it also opened my eyes to the Rwandan male
perception.
At camp I taught a class on Relationship Building and
Partnering in Gender Equality. During the class there was a list of scenarios
asking boys what they would do in certain situations. The goal of these
scenarios was to open different discussions with each other on gender equality.
Scenarios included: your wife gets sick and is unable to cook, clean, take care
of children, what do you do? Or, you want to have sex with your girlfriend but
she does not, what do you do? Etc. I encouraged boys to think that there was no
right or wrong answer. I wasn’t looking for a popcorn fluffy response on what
teacher wanted to hear. The scenario that got the most attention and appall was:
your wife wants to be president someday. She is a leader in her community, and
loves to lead. It is her goal and her dream in life. How do you respond to her
goal?
The most common responses were (verbatim):
-
According to culture, it is not good. The
husband has responsibility of taking care of family (financially).
-
No you cannot support her. If she becomes
president she will have a lot of money and no respect for you (her husband).
-
You can converse about culture and ask her if
she respects the culture, if she respects culture then she will understand no
woman should be higher in the relationship then the husband.
They came from boys between the ages of fourteen and twenty-five.
And yes, it broke my heart when one of my favorite students, who I brought to
camp, stood up in class and said no he would not support her, or would want his
wife to be a leader.
This is the current male perception of woman and their role
in the culture. For women to be successful, and make more money than their
husbands is more often than not seen as having bad culture.
I tried to stay as neutral as I could during the class
discussion. But lets be real, I went to an all girls high school that started
pumping feminism into me at age fourteen. My final plea to my students was for
them to communicate with their partners about their goals and dreams before
marriage, and to reevaluate the relationship according to what each other
wanted from life. To have an open mind, and understanding of what their partners
want from life. A woman is not a machine, a relationship should be equal, and
respected by both parties.
These discussions (and eye openers for myself) are why I am
passionate about gender development and support BE and GLOW (Girls Leading Our
World) camps and clubs. So I encourage you, in whatever area you work in, and
wherever you are to create and continue the discussion.
